May is the worst.
So many crummy things have happened in May. Mays are cursed in my family, if you believe in stuff like that. Which I don’t, really, but every year when this month rolls around, I feel dread.
Shitty Things that Have Happened in the Mays before 2015:
- Grandmother died
- Parents had to attend Grandma’s funeral instead of their anniversary dinner
- Then my other grandmother died
- Kathy was very sick in hospital, a year later…
- Kathy died
- My parents spent their anniversary lost in Tacoma, trying to get to Kathy’s wake
- My grandfather got a concussion on my parents’ anniversary…
- Twice. Meaning the nurse on duty looked at his Emergency Room intake form and said “Oh woops we got the wrong year on here” and my parents were all “Nope. It’s accurate. We were just here exactly a year ago for the same thing.
So May sucks. You get the idea. But last May was like “Oh, you hate May? You think I’m a crummy month? LET ME SHOW YOU.”
Shitty Things that Happened in May, 2015:
- On our way back from a (very, very lovely) wedding in Houston, we are delayed at the airport for six hours before our flight is summarily canceled; we have to book new flights in order to make it back for important work events, costing us $900; the next flight is delayed as well, and our almost-2-year-old refuses to sleep the entire trip home…
- Where once we have landed, he enacts a comical if it wasn’t terrifying escape OVER the luggage turnstile, almost gravely injuring himself, only to be summarily dumped face first from his stroller on the way to the car in the parking lot
- (That was just May 3rd)
- Three days later I am struck with a horrible pain in my stomach which leaves me in the Emergency Room all day with no real solution
- Rufus is taken up to visit my parents while I convalesce.
- When he comes home we find out he has Hand and Mouth disease, which makes him very miserable
- Fleas overtook most of our house and covered the baby and us with bites that drove everyone insane
- Oh and we also all got pinworms, because why not?
- My dad is sick, too, so we think he got Hand and Mouth disease
- But he doesn’t, he has something much worse that lands him in the Emergency Room; he’s intubated and put in a medical coma within 12 hours
- My parents anniversary passes by, once again, in the midst of something terrible
- My father dies just a week after being admitted
- Fuck May.
At first I wanted to call this month “Extra April” “Extended April” or “Long June” but I think it’s better to face the Mean May head-on. I rebelled by at first making my monthly planner page for May really cranky and goth teen style without the month listed and some sad dots on THE DAY. But then Sky is getting Lasik and my mom is visiting Colorado and there are birthdays and a rescheduled Santigold concert and I guess that means life goes on, right?